Over the last few days I feel like I have been very aware of both life and death. That sounds incredibly melodramatic and it hasn’t been, so let me explain why I said it. Some of my experiences in the last couple of days have been truly life-affirming, albeit in a low key way. Tali…
DetailsYesterday two things happened that helped my mental and emotional state enormously. I had my first counselling session and I had a long chat with a dear friend whose mum died when he was only 7. I’ve always been a bit dismissive of counselling and other talking therapies, but something happened to me yesterday morning.…
DetailsNormally I wake up on 1 January full of good intentions and resolutions. Like most people, I promise myself I will eat more healthy, exercise more, spend more quality time with family and friends, challenge and improve myself etc etc etc. This year there is just one resolution. I resolve to fight, to stay alive…
DetailsNew Years Eve always seems to be a time for reflection and this one more obviously than most. I have been thinking about some of the people who have inspired me in life, who have given me the fire in my belly. Here are just some of them. My mum. The biggest inspiration of all.…
DetailsI’ve blogged before about the wonderful messages of support I’ve received by phone, text, card, email and Facebook. In the past two weeks these have increased exponentially as the blog has been shared and brought home to friends and strangers the situation I’m in. So I’d like to thank everyone for your good wishes, kind…
DetailsChemo Mark 2 started today. My breast cancer twinnie calls this Plan B. It’s been a very long day and I spent almost 9 hours in the Big White Chair being walloped by the three new drugs plus humongous bags of fluids plus the usual anti-emetics. Entertainment was provided in the form of a steady…
DetailsI’m having a lazy Sunday morning in bed. The electronic babysitters are fully engaged (thanks, tablets and smartphones). Joey is lying next to me watching Angry Birds cartoons. I just adore this cheeky little monkey. He is so soft and cute and wraps everyone around his little finger. He is super clever, super flirty and…
DetailsHere are some of the paradoxes that are haunting me at the moment. Sleep is a blessed relief from the horror of our situation. So I want to stay asleep. But I want to spend every second with my family as time feels so limited. So I want to stay awake. Anxiety and fear freezes…
DetailsI was going to start this blog entry by saying that we are adjusting to this new reality. But I’m not sure that’s quite right. Certainly the tears are slowing up although they are still catching me unawares from time to time. But the horror of the situation isn’t fading. I have a constant knot…
DetailsGenghis is in my liver. There are multiple spots. Chemo is starting ASAP. The prognosis isn’t great but there are people who stay stable for a good while or whose mets shrink. It is even possible for the mets to disappear completely, though unlikely. My onc has said to plan for the worst but prepare…
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